At age 45, I find that one question resurfaces in my mind more than any other: What is my life’s purpose? Nancy poses this question to me from time to time as, “What do you want to be doing with your life?” which wife to husband sounds like, “How do you want to make a living?” but I know that’s not the entirety of her meaning. It’s a question that we ask ourselves from little on up, the world hammers in our face, and we struggle to make sense of by either relinquishing its answer to a higher power (God has a plan for me; I just need to find out what that is), or equivocating our financial success and stability with purpose (Wealth = Happiness = Purpose). But ultimately neither mainstream answer proves sufficient. On one hand, I’ve waited impatiently for God to reveal His Big Secret. Guess what? He hasn’t. On the other hand, wealth and stability elude me. I have very little money or security. I do have a beautiful wife and son, and I’ve been an actor, director, music director, poet, composer, educator, father, husband, son, mentor, and assorted other labels, and I’ve looked for illumination in them all to marginal avail. I’ve tried to play the “What is my life’s purpose?” game by society’s rules and I’ve never gotten a satisfying answer to the question. And Lord knows my mother tried to answer the question for me many, many times.
It’s beyond frustrating going through life being told that someone (or Someone) knows what your purpose is, and your sole responsibility is to figure out what they are keeping from you. You’re always chasing rainbows, chasing after the Unattainable Question, and always dissatisfied due to the fact that you can never really know what they – the World Soul, God, Ed, Whoever – is thinking. And you know what? I’m 45 and I’m just tired of playing the game. Here’s a fact: They – whoever they are – don’t know any more than I do, and they are more preoccupied with figuring out their own purpose than cluing me in on my own. SO I QUIT. I don’t want to know what THEY think my Personal Purpose is supposed to be. And, of course, now that I’ve stopped asking what it is, it presented itself to me without effort.
The other night lying in bed it hit me, the Purpose of Life, the answer to the Big Question, the mystery solved. It’s a three point plan with room for revision, but here it is in a nutshell:
The Purpose of Life:
1. Be a Bringer of Joy
2. Be a Facilitator of Healing
3. Be a Provider of Service
That’s it. That’s the whole list. All three foci are about elevating people, assisting people, making people’s lives better. If you’re a performer, comedian, actor, or musician, you are a bringer of joy where there is some measure of healing and service hoped for or implied. If you are a doctor or other medical practitioner, you are a healer who provides service and joy (think relief) in recovery. If you are in any service related field, and you do it with a willing and open heart, you are hopefully making people’s lives better and easier bringing joy and healing. End of story. Mystery solved.
How you choose to implement these three aims is up to you, based on your interests and inclination, and no one, NO ONE, can decide that for you – not your parents, friends, God, or partner. That part comes from you. But instead of concentrating on the vocation or avocation first, ask yourself “How can I be a bringer of joy, facilitator of healing, and provider of service?” to humanity and let the rest spring from your passions and the unique love that you can share with everyone else.
Oh, and one last thing: Joy, Healing, and Service are the real stem careers. They all stem from a place of unconditional love. They all stem from making the world better, easier, more beautiful, more radiant, and yes, godly when they are real and “on purpose.” So you could say then that the real Purpose of Life is Love, and there are three Pathways to Purpose: Joy, Healing, and Service. And the Primary Path you take is up to you, but make sure that the other Secondary Paths are accessible and frequently visited by you as path jumping is essential and strongly encouraged. Leaving any of the Pathways untraveled and overgrown leads to frustration, disillusionment, and a lack of fulfillment, rather than Purpose.
And there it is in a nutshell and yes, other people have said it better than me, but this is my “A-Ha” way of seeing it for what it is. The Purpose of Life is Love given freely by you to Humanity through Joy, Healing, and Service. It’s no mystery anymore. Now go figure out for yourself how your Passions inspire you to embark on one of the Three Pathways leading to your unique version of Life’s Purpose which is ultimately Unconditional Love for all the world.
Good Luck, God Bless, Namaste, and let me know if this makes sense.
My son contemplating his Purpose.